I'm leaving in the morning for Beijing! I'm going to women's conference for missionaries there. Knowing that China is a gospel-restircted nation (depending on one's nationality and location in the country) I'm a wee bit nervous about convening with dozens of missionaries there. After I booked my tickets and signed the dotted line, this reality struck me. I was on the phone with my BFF Jen, who is meeting me in Beijing from her home and mission field in Thailand. When it dawned on us, we kind of chuckled in nervous laughter and said something like, "Um, we're going to a conference right? Not prison, right? Right? RIGHT?!"
I'm hoping to see the Great Wall on Saturday and also walk around Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City (confession: I don't even know what the Forbidden City is...sounds hard to get into. I'll wikipedia that later.). The average temp in Beijing right now is about 12 degrees. Yes, TWELVE. That will be painful. I'll do my best to post news and photos (of me in a borrowed rabbit fur hat) while I'm there. If my freedom on the internet is, ahem, hindered, I'll be back here at the blog in a week.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
I'm Learning--Our Adoption Story Part 6
If you're new to this blog and you'd like to read about our adoption, I am re-capping the whole story. Scroll down and start with Part 1. For all of you interested in this adoption story--don't worry, if it seems boring now, just keep reading--it'll get intense. There are even bombs and riot gear involved...
I have so much to learn about being an adoptive mom. I am in process, which makes blogging risky and my regrets public. I am significantly changing the content of our adoption story.
As I set out to share our story a couple weeks ago I was excited about telling all of the details of Rebekah's past because I wanted to humanize some of the statistics that easily desensitize us. I wanted to give God the glory for protecting her and caring for her. I wanted to paint a picture of what many young girls live through daily and how we who are far away and have little seemingly in common with them can actually enter their world and make a difference.
I am convinced now, though, that less is best. The details of Rebekah's past are hers and hers alone. She can share them herself when she is ready. Her story is not mine. I believe I was naive to start out that way and I deeply regret it. So from here on out, I'll share the details from our perspective only of the arduous journey that our family took to be united with our fourth daughter.
As I said yesterday, I began by writing the Thai government. I had learned by emailing several agencies in the States that we could not use their services because Rebekah did not live in an orphanage with which they worked. So I basically Googled a ton and finally found the address of the government bureau that approves every adoption in Thailand.
The letter was kind of awkward. It basically said, "Dear Mr. So and So, I want to adopt this girl in Chiang Mai. How do I do that? Please write me back or call me. Thanks." As I stuck it in the mail I had zero expectation that anyone would actually call me or write me. Then what?
After not hearing back by about September 2007, I began Googling more and digging for the phone number for the bureau. After digging for the country codes to call from Japan to Thailand I dialed and prayed for an answer and also an English speaker. I began to learn that day that phone calls rarely connect in Thailand. Calling no less than 15 times for one successful answer is not uncommon.
Finally there was an answer. "Sawadee Kah....blah blah blah...." Uh-Oh. Thai only. If I remember correctly, I dealt with that by pressing zero a lot. Finally, someone answered and said "Ah-lo?" I explained our desire and was put on hold. "It's a Small World After All" played over and over. I was disconnected more than once. More dialing. More zeros. More sawadee kahs. Another "Ah-lo?"
Uh, "Me again. Can I adopt that girl in Chiang Mai? Um great, could you tell me how to do that?"
"Miss, you have to move to Thailand."
"What? I'm not moving to Thailand."
"Yes, you have to."
"Uh, no. No, I can't. Isn't there another way?"
"Ok. You have to come to Thailand and hire a lawyer. You need Thai lawyer."
"Ok. Thanks." And I cried. Where exactly does one find a Thai lawyer? Flip open the Yellow Pages? So we prayed and I started emailing everyone I knew in Thailand, which at that time, was very few.
I have so much to learn about being an adoptive mom. I am in process, which makes blogging risky and my regrets public. I am significantly changing the content of our adoption story.
As I set out to share our story a couple weeks ago I was excited about telling all of the details of Rebekah's past because I wanted to humanize some of the statistics that easily desensitize us. I wanted to give God the glory for protecting her and caring for her. I wanted to paint a picture of what many young girls live through daily and how we who are far away and have little seemingly in common with them can actually enter their world and make a difference.
I am convinced now, though, that less is best. The details of Rebekah's past are hers and hers alone. She can share them herself when she is ready. Her story is not mine. I believe I was naive to start out that way and I deeply regret it. So from here on out, I'll share the details from our perspective only of the arduous journey that our family took to be united with our fourth daughter.
As I said yesterday, I began by writing the Thai government. I had learned by emailing several agencies in the States that we could not use their services because Rebekah did not live in an orphanage with which they worked. So I basically Googled a ton and finally found the address of the government bureau that approves every adoption in Thailand.
The letter was kind of awkward. It basically said, "Dear Mr. So and So, I want to adopt this girl in Chiang Mai. How do I do that? Please write me back or call me. Thanks." As I stuck it in the mail I had zero expectation that anyone would actually call me or write me. Then what?
After not hearing back by about September 2007, I began Googling more and digging for the phone number for the bureau. After digging for the country codes to call from Japan to Thailand I dialed and prayed for an answer and also an English speaker. I began to learn that day that phone calls rarely connect in Thailand. Calling no less than 15 times for one successful answer is not uncommon.
Finally there was an answer. "Sawadee Kah....blah blah blah...." Uh-Oh. Thai only. If I remember correctly, I dealt with that by pressing zero a lot. Finally, someone answered and said "Ah-lo?" I explained our desire and was put on hold. "It's a Small World After All" played over and over. I was disconnected more than once. More dialing. More zeros. More sawadee kahs. Another "Ah-lo?"
Uh, "Me again. Can I adopt that girl in Chiang Mai? Um great, could you tell me how to do that?"
"Miss, you have to move to Thailand."
"What? I'm not moving to Thailand."
"Yes, you have to."
"Uh, no. No, I can't. Isn't there another way?"
"Ok. You have to come to Thailand and hire a lawyer. You need Thai lawyer."
"Ok. Thanks." And I cried. Where exactly does one find a Thai lawyer? Flip open the Yellow Pages? So we prayed and I started emailing everyone I knew in Thailand, which at that time, was very few.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Our Adoption Story Part 5
If you're new to this blog and you'd like to read about our adoption, I am re-capping the whole story. Scroll down and start with Part 1. For all of you interested in this adoption story--don't worry, if it seems boring now, just keep reading--it'll get intense. There are even bombs and riot gear involved...
When Mark returned from his trip to Thailand in June 2007, we both knew in our hearts that God was calling us to adopt Rebekah. It's hard to explain--but it was the same feeling in my spirit that I had when I knew God called me to marry Mark and when God called me to the mission field. The feeling was like a rushing river current that couldn't be fought. It carried us along in spite of some of the doubts we had and general freaked-outness we felt whenever we paused to consider how in the world to get it done.
We did indeed seek wisdom. We first asked the staff at her orphanage what they thought. "Is it in Deer's best interest to uproot her from her country and her friends at the age of 10 to be brought into an American family who lives in Japan and already has three younger daughters? Is it better for her if she stays there and we visit a lot and do our best to maintain a relationship over the miles?"
Their resounding, firm, unanimous, and unhesitating answer was, "All these children need a mom and dad. No matter what the difficulties, a mom and dad is far better than an orphanage."
The American staff said it and the Thai staff said it. And we believe that is true.
Zoe was four years old that summer; the same age as Rebekah was when she lost her mommy and daddy. Mark and I wept as we thought about what it would be like for Zoe to watch us both waste away to a horrible sickness. Our stomachs hurt as we considered her being an orphan.
Mark often said, "What would we want Christians to do if that happened to us? We would want a Christian family to take Zoe and make her their own. Deer should not receive anything less than what we want for Zoe."
Christ in us caused us to believe Him and trust Him. By God's grace and God's doing, He called us to pursue Deer with all we had, just like He pursued us with all He had.
The next few months and years were really messy. I cannot briefly convey how difficult it was to begin the process of adopting a child who has been classified as "un-adoptable" and is not in an orphanage that adopts out kids while you are an American living in Japan and hoping to do all this in Thailand.
The faith journey started with a letter to the Thai government.
When Mark returned from his trip to Thailand in June 2007, we both knew in our hearts that God was calling us to adopt Rebekah. It's hard to explain--but it was the same feeling in my spirit that I had when I knew God called me to marry Mark and when God called me to the mission field. The feeling was like a rushing river current that couldn't be fought. It carried us along in spite of some of the doubts we had and general freaked-outness we felt whenever we paused to consider how in the world to get it done.
We did indeed seek wisdom. We first asked the staff at her orphanage what they thought. "Is it in Deer's best interest to uproot her from her country and her friends at the age of 10 to be brought into an American family who lives in Japan and already has three younger daughters? Is it better for her if she stays there and we visit a lot and do our best to maintain a relationship over the miles?"
Their resounding, firm, unanimous, and unhesitating answer was, "All these children need a mom and dad. No matter what the difficulties, a mom and dad is far better than an orphanage."
The American staff said it and the Thai staff said it. And we believe that is true.
Zoe was four years old that summer; the same age as Rebekah was when she lost her mommy and daddy. Mark and I wept as we thought about what it would be like for Zoe to watch us both waste away to a horrible sickness. Our stomachs hurt as we considered her being an orphan.
Mark often said, "What would we want Christians to do if that happened to us? We would want a Christian family to take Zoe and make her their own. Deer should not receive anything less than what we want for Zoe."
Christ in us caused us to believe Him and trust Him. By God's grace and God's doing, He called us to pursue Deer with all we had, just like He pursued us with all He had.
The next few months and years were really messy. I cannot briefly convey how difficult it was to begin the process of adopting a child who has been classified as "un-adoptable" and is not in an orphanage that adopts out kids while you are an American living in Japan and hoping to do all this in Thailand.
The faith journey started with a letter to the Thai government.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Fast forward with Photos: Our Adoption Story Part 4
If you're new to this blog and you'd like to read about our adoption, I am re-capping the whole story. Scroll down and start with Part 1. For all of you interested in this adoption story--don't worry, if it seems boring now, just keep reading--it'll get intense. There are even bombs and riot gear involved...
I thought it would be good to fast forward through the next couple years with photos. Enjoy!
Here is Deer with Ravi Zacharias. He visited Im Jai House sometime in 2005. How cute is Rebekah/Deer on the right side!
Also in 2005, Abby Grace was born. I thought I would include this picture to encourage anyone who may be pregnant right now. You can rest assured you are not as large as I was at this time. That is Zoe and me swimming 2 days before Abby Grace was born in August 2005.
The Lord tested our faith in Him when Abby Grace was born with a seemingly terrible heart problem. She was whisked away to the NICU and we weren't sure she would make it. Praise God, she did. Her heart issues were healed within a couple weeks.
Here we are: the happy family of four and still ministering to the military in Okinawa in 2005.
But, before Hannah made her entrance into the world, I led a women's mission trip to Im Jai. In January 2007, about 13 other women and I went to Chiang Mai, Thailand. It was my second ever visit to Thailand and we were a little concerned about me going pregnant. I committed to not riding any tuk-tuks, drinking only bottled water, and hoping for the best.
The trip was memorable for so many reasons. One reason is that my deer friend Shannon met Jesus while there. Before the trip she was most certainly on a journey to the end of her rope and God met her in Thailand and swept her off her feet. She has been fully devoted to Jesus ever since. She's now an adoptive mom too! Sadly, another sweet friend of mine, Rachel, who was on the trip and was also pregnant, lost her baby while we were there. It was one of the saddest days of my life. By God's grace, she clung to Him and she was such a bright light to our team and to the orphanage staff and children. Her constant testimony to the goodness of God was a authentic and pure. Both Shannon and Rachel continue to honor God in all they do and I truly look up to them both as they walk closely with God.
Of course, the most memorable event of the trip for me was meeting Deer. What a joyous moment it was. After hearing about her through cards and Mark's stories, I could hardly wait to hug her myself. She was just as cute as I had imagined. We spent the week glued to each other and she was oh so affectionate. That smile is still amazing.
After a tearful goodbye, I returned to Okinawa and waited for Hannah. Here I am with Abby Grace about a month before Hannah was born.
I just had to include the next two pics, because they are sort of hilarious. Here is our family of four on Zoe's first day of preschool. Why did we send her to Japanese preschool? I don't know. She was our first kid and we didn't really know what we were doing. I was wooed by the opportunity for her to become fluent, appreciate the culture, and obviously the Madeline uniform. Below, I am super duper prego, Abby Grace is two and mad, Mark is looking at me like I am crazy, and I'm pretty sire I am lecturing everyone within hearing.
Zoe was such a good sport. She pretty much hated every minute of Japanese preschool. She cried everyday. Let's just say that their approach to preschool is not exactly like our American approach. It was kind of a free-for-all with glue and scissors everyday with only guidance and limitations whenever someone was already injured. Zoe, who loves structure and calm, didn't really like it. She'd come home and tell me everyday "All Japanese kids are naughty." Oops--cultural appreciation backfire. We finally relented and took her out after about 6 months.
Hannah joined us in April 2007. Yes, I am still in my clothes in the picture below. She came really fast.
This photo just makes me tired. Life with three children ages 3 and under. Whew. I don't remember any of it. Seriously. I don't.
Mark took another team back to Im Jai in June 2007. I had just been there 6 months prior and we were so glad one of us would be with Rebekah again so quickly.
I thought it would be good to fast forward through the next couple years with photos. Enjoy!
Here is Deer with Ravi Zacharias. He visited Im Jai House sometime in 2005. How cute is Rebekah/Deer on the right side!
Also in 2005, Abby Grace was born. I thought I would include this picture to encourage anyone who may be pregnant right now. You can rest assured you are not as large as I was at this time. That is Zoe and me swimming 2 days before Abby Grace was born in August 2005.
Here we are: the happy family of four and still ministering to the military in Okinawa in 2005.
In November of 2005, Mark took a second mission team to the Im Jai House. Here he is with Rebekah at a waterfall the Im Jai kids loved to visit and swim in.
Each time Mark visited Deer he bright her gifts from our family. And out of her poverty she always sent gifts back. She sent Zoe a stuffed dog, which still sits on Zoe's bed to this day. She also sent hair bows and plenty of art work and cards for us.
In 2006, Hannah came on the scene.
But, before Hannah made her entrance into the world, I led a women's mission trip to Im Jai. In January 2007, about 13 other women and I went to Chiang Mai, Thailand. It was my second ever visit to Thailand and we were a little concerned about me going pregnant. I committed to not riding any tuk-tuks, drinking only bottled water, and hoping for the best.
The trip was memorable for so many reasons. One reason is that my deer friend Shannon met Jesus while there. Before the trip she was most certainly on a journey to the end of her rope and God met her in Thailand and swept her off her feet. She has been fully devoted to Jesus ever since. She's now an adoptive mom too! Sadly, another sweet friend of mine, Rachel, who was on the trip and was also pregnant, lost her baby while we were there. It was one of the saddest days of my life. By God's grace, she clung to Him and she was such a bright light to our team and to the orphanage staff and children. Her constant testimony to the goodness of God was a authentic and pure. Both Shannon and Rachel continue to honor God in all they do and I truly look up to them both as they walk closely with God.
Of course, the most memorable event of the trip for me was meeting Deer. What a joyous moment it was. After hearing about her through cards and Mark's stories, I could hardly wait to hug her myself. She was just as cute as I had imagined. We spent the week glued to each other and she was oh so affectionate. That smile is still amazing.
I just had to include the next two pics, because they are sort of hilarious. Here is our family of four on Zoe's first day of preschool. Why did we send her to Japanese preschool? I don't know. She was our first kid and we didn't really know what we were doing. I was wooed by the opportunity for her to become fluent, appreciate the culture, and obviously the Madeline uniform. Below, I am super duper prego, Abby Grace is two and mad, Mark is looking at me like I am crazy, and I'm pretty sire I am lecturing everyone within hearing.
Zoe was such a good sport. She pretty much hated every minute of Japanese preschool. She cried everyday. Let's just say that their approach to preschool is not exactly like our American approach. It was kind of a free-for-all with glue and scissors everyday with only guidance and limitations whenever someone was already injured. Zoe, who loves structure and calm, didn't really like it. She'd come home and tell me everyday "All Japanese kids are naughty." Oops--cultural appreciation backfire. We finally relented and took her out after about 6 months.
Hannah joined us in April 2007. Yes, I am still in my clothes in the picture below. She came really fast.
This photo just makes me tired. Life with three children ages 3 and under. Whew. I don't remember any of it. Seriously. I don't.
Rebekah was turning 10 during this same month. What a pretty girl!
Just before Mark's trip in June 2007 we both began to feel like the Lord was asking us to be more than Deer's sponsors. We aren't sure now who said it first because the Lord truly planted the idea in both of our minds at the same time: we were called to be Deer's mommy and daddy. This family of five was not complete. We were about to be in for the faith journey of our lives.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Our Adoption Story Part 3
Rebekah arrived at the Im Jai House on May 12, 2003. At that time, I was one month away from birthing our first child, Zoe Anna. Rebekah/Deer would be turning six shortly after that.
We first heard about Deer at our home church in Denver--Colorado Community Church. The Director of the Im Jai House, a woman named Ladda, had traveled to the US to visit friends and churches in order to raise money and awareness for her orphanage. She took the stage of our church and told her remarkable story. She herself was orphaned by leprosy and grew up in an orphanage. As an adult she felt called to care for the fatherless in Thailand. She opened up Im Jai with a ton of faith and only $40. By the time Deer arrived, there were just over 50 children there and she became their youngest resident. Following her arrival, the facility and staff were at their max, so only a couple more children trickled in over the years.
After Ladda had made her plea on stage, Mark and I visited her table in the church foyer. We told her we'd like to sponsor a child. She asked us if we would sponsor Im Jai's newest addition--a little girl named Deer. We saw her cute picture in a black and white photo copy in a binder that Ladda had with her. We began that day to send money monthly to Im Jai's stateside foundation in order to pay for Deer's food, housing, schooling, medical care, extracurricular activities and savings account.
Our first mail from Im Jai described Deer and her arrival. It included this photo and said that her favorite food was fried rice and her favorite subject was drawing (those two things have not changed!).
Back to 2003: at that time, Mark was finishing up his Masters of Divinity at Denver Seminary and we were raising support to be missionaries with Cadence International. It was a sweet time with our newborn daughter, as we crammed in time with our families in Denver and packed a huge shipping container full of our earthly goods and ministry supplies in order to move to the other side of the planet. We moved to Okinawa, Japan in January of 2004 and began our career running the Harbor, with a vision to exalt Christ in the nations through the lives of transformed military people.
A year into our lives in Japan, Mark felt called by God to lead a small mission team of active duty men to the Im Jai House. On March 10, 2005 he left for Thailand with 4 men who he was discipling. I was four months pregnant with Abby Grace and Zoe and I stayed behind.
We first heard about Deer at our home church in Denver--Colorado Community Church. The Director of the Im Jai House, a woman named Ladda, had traveled to the US to visit friends and churches in order to raise money and awareness for her orphanage. She took the stage of our church and told her remarkable story. She herself was orphaned by leprosy and grew up in an orphanage. As an adult she felt called to care for the fatherless in Thailand. She opened up Im Jai with a ton of faith and only $40. By the time Deer arrived, there were just over 50 children there and she became their youngest resident. Following her arrival, the facility and staff were at their max, so only a couple more children trickled in over the years.
After Ladda had made her plea on stage, Mark and I visited her table in the church foyer. We told her we'd like to sponsor a child. She asked us if we would sponsor Im Jai's newest addition--a little girl named Deer. We saw her cute picture in a black and white photo copy in a binder that Ladda had with her. We began that day to send money monthly to Im Jai's stateside foundation in order to pay for Deer's food, housing, schooling, medical care, extracurricular activities and savings account.
Our first mail from Im Jai described Deer and her arrival. It included this photo and said that her favorite food was fried rice and her favorite subject was drawing (those two things have not changed!).
Back to 2003: at that time, Mark was finishing up his Masters of Divinity at Denver Seminary and we were raising support to be missionaries with Cadence International. It was a sweet time with our newborn daughter, as we crammed in time with our families in Denver and packed a huge shipping container full of our earthly goods and ministry supplies in order to move to the other side of the planet. We moved to Okinawa, Japan in January of 2004 and began our career running the Harbor, with a vision to exalt Christ in the nations through the lives of transformed military people.
A year into our lives in Japan, Mark felt called by God to lead a small mission team of active duty men to the Im Jai House. On March 10, 2005 he left for Thailand with 4 men who he was discipling. I was four months pregnant with Abby Grace and Zoe and I stayed behind.
The team preparing to leave.
On their way! The guys were there during the Im Jai kids' spring break in school. They basically took the kids all over Chiang Mai on field trips: to the snake farm, to ride water buffalo (who knew you could do that!?), the kids' first train ride, swimming in a huge river waterfall, and more.
Mark's first time meeting Deer. She was 7 and so precious. He brought this picture home in a wooden frame that has sat next to my kitchen sink ever since that trip. Hence, it's water damaged and stuck in the frame, but it's still sitting next to my kitchen sink right now. On this trip Mark bought Rebekah a green bike and a barbie (she reminded us of that this evening).
This is sweet Zoe during the week her daddy was gone meeting her big sister (of course none of us knew that at the time!).
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Our Adoption Story Part 2
Thanks so much for tuning in. Writing about our adoption is nourishing for me personally, as I recount every detail orchestrated and mountain moved by God Himself in order to bring Rebekah into the Oshman family. Being reminded of the seemingly closed doors during our three-year ordeal still takes my breath away and makes my heart beat rapidly.
After the loss of her parents, Rebekah's grandmother brought her to the Im Jai House. Here is one of her first photos taken there.
After the loss of her parents, Rebekah's grandmother brought her to the Im Jai House. Here is one of her first photos taken there.
Deer, age 5, upon her arrival at Im Jai
"God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'"
Hebrews 13:5
Monday, February 6, 2012
Our Adoption Story Part 1
In three weeks we Oshmans will be celebrating Rebekah's 2nd Gotcha Day. In adoption lingo a "Gotcha Day" is the day parents get to bring their waiting child into their family. On February 27, 2010 Rebekah became our forever daughter. In honor of that day, for the next three weeks I am going to retell our adoption story. It is one filled with both grief and joy, waiting and hurrying, love and sorrow. It is, above all, a story that God Himself wrote and continues to write.
As I recount these memories I have the added blessing of asking Rebekah about her heart and thoughts during each milestone. I pray that our conversations and the resulting blog posts will draw us closer to one another as mother and daughter, will draw us both closer to the heart of God, and perhaps bring you closer to our family as we share these memories with you.
Part 1
Rebekah was born in 1997 in Bangkok, Thailand. That was the same summer I went on a mission trip to Kenya and Mark returned from a semester of college in Europe. We were married in 1999. We had no idea our fourth child was already in the world. God did. On our wedding day she was probably entering the terrible twos. As we baked in the sun on our honeymoon she probably clung to her momma's back while she made and sold fried bananas, a trade her birth family still maintains.
As is the custom in Thailand, Rebekah was given the nickname Deer. She was the fourth daughter of her mother. Her mother and father moved from Bangkok to Nan--their birthplace--in northern Thailand sometime before Rebakah was four. As a four-year-old Rebekah was orphaned when she lost her both her mother and her father.
As I recount these memories I have the added blessing of asking Rebekah about her heart and thoughts during each milestone. I pray that our conversations and the resulting blog posts will draw us closer to one another as mother and daughter, will draw us both closer to the heart of God, and perhaps bring you closer to our family as we share these memories with you.
Part 1
Rebekah was born in 1997 in Bangkok, Thailand. That was the same summer I went on a mission trip to Kenya and Mark returned from a semester of college in Europe. We were married in 1999. We had no idea our fourth child was already in the world. God did. On our wedding day she was probably entering the terrible twos. As we baked in the sun on our honeymoon she probably clung to her momma's back while she made and sold fried bananas, a trade her birth family still maintains.
As is the custom in Thailand, Rebekah was given the nickname Deer. She was the fourth daughter of her mother. Her mother and father moved from Bangkok to Nan--their birthplace--in northern Thailand sometime before Rebakah was four. As a four-year-old Rebekah was orphaned when she lost her both her mother and her father.
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